


our worlds colliding

by winterbitch (WinterLadyy)



Series: dream au [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dreams vs. Reality, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, but like only kind of, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 04:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20988911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterLadyy/pseuds/winterbitch
Summary: James Bucky Barnes is in cryo. For his own good, really, but his mind is always his greatest weakness. It tortures him, first with images of blood and pain, and then with something even worse - visions of another life. A life full of happiness and Tony Stark in his arms, watching sunsets and exchanging kisses. He's not sure what's worse.





	our worlds colliding

**Author's Note:**

> imported from tumblr

In the cryo, time is irrelevant. James is aware that he’s there, it’s not like Hydra, but it still feels like torture.

He cannot escape the pain and the guilt, and each second is agony when he sees the eyes of his victims, life slowly dripping out of them.

He cannot escape Stark.

Try as he might, James can’t forget the sight of him there, in that bunker, broken and sad and so so resigned. He can’t forget how he didn’t want to fight but somehow the Winter Soldier won against him again. How the triggers that activated him also kept him close to the surface.

The Soldier likes to fight.

He can deny is as much as he wants, but James knows that the part of him that’s the Winter Soldier likes the fight. Likes the adrenaline, the danger, the feeling of being a better fighter.

It’s yet another reason to hate himself as if he has too few of those.

But the cryo that felt like a blessing turned into a curse.

He’s just stuck here, in his own head, mangled and fucked up, and he can’t escape, can’t tell them to get him out, can’t close his eyes because it’s all in his brain.

James just has to be there, exist, and suffer.

That’s when the images start.

He’s sitting on top of a tall Tower that’s overviewing New York, calm and happy. The sun is setting and he knows that Tony will be here soon. It’s their tradition.

“Hey, handsome,” comes a quip and James smiles, turning to face his husband and opening his arms.

Tony falls into them easily and cuddles close, fitting into James’s body like he was made to sit there. 

“Hey, baby,” James croons quietly, nuzzling into his hair. “Tired?”

“Yeah,” Tony sighs. “I swear, it’s like having toddlers!”

James laughs fondly. “Yeah, they’re a bit much, sometimes,” he agrees. He loves their team but, by God, they sometimes had one collective braincell and weren’t all that keen on using it.

“Steve spilled champagne on Nat’s new dress and I think she was going to murder him but then he looked ready to cry…” Tony trails off, before picking the story up again. “And that’s not the worst thing! Clint had the audacity to suggest that since the dress is already ruined they can…ruin it further and I’m pretty sure I almost caught them going at it in the bathroom.”

He almost chokes laughing, both at the situation and at Tony’s tone. It is kind of like catching your sibling having sex. Pretty gross.

“Poor darlin’,” he coos then, rubbing his hands up and down Tony’s back under his shirt. His husband melts right into him. “How ‘bout a bubble bath and some hot chocolate?”

“Hmmm… I love you,” Tony sighs and kisses his neck.

James just laughs and hoists him up. Tony looks stunning in the setting sun-

-then he jerks away from the dream.

It must be a dream, James knows that, even if it feels like a memory. he knows that because he’s currently in cryo in Wakanda and Tony Stark rightfully hates him. Rightfully hates Steve as well.

Life isn’t that golden, sun-kissed version he just saw. 

Yet, the dreams don’t stop. James dreams about normal things - visiting the most amazing lab he has ever seen, cuddling in bed, showering together, early morning and late nights, the Avengers getting called out.

He feels like the time has slowed, and he’s living the life he will never get but desperately wants.

James always waits for those dreams because they’re the only break he gets from the memories of pain and blood. Sometimes his, sometimes others.

Those sweet, soft and golden dreams keep him from going insane inside his own head, keep him from begging for death.

James doesn’t deserve this kindness but he still selfishly grabs them and tries not to let go. It’s easier to live in that fantasy than in the hell of his own making.

The dreams escalate until there’s one he loves with all of his heart.

He and his husband are sitting on the sofa, watching a stupid movie when Tony comments on one name in particular.

“Chelsey is such a stupid name,” he mutters under his breath. “All I can think of is a bitchy cheerleader.”

“So you wouldn’t want to name our child that?” James asks before he can stop himself and for a second, everything is frozen. They never talked about kids.

“You-,” Tony starts, before choking it back. He looks down at his husband to see the tears in his eyes and the disbelieving smile on his face. “You want kids with me?”

He sounds like he’s in awe and James can only laugh wetly. “Of course,” he says softly but with passion. He’s never been surer. “I want everythin’ with you, love.”

Tony stares at him for a second before hugging him tightly, arms wrapped around his waist, whole body shaking. James just hugs him back and hides his tears in his husband’s hair.

“I’d name a girl Morgan,” he hears Tony whisper, voice still awed and soft.

“I love it,” he comments, wanting to look at Tony so-

-so James opens his eyes and gasps, seeing the bright light over him and concerned voices around.

He’s wet and shaking and the world is turning at normal speed again, but he still can’t help the sob that’s tearing from his chest.

James wants that reality back. He wants his husband and his team and the baby girl they will end up having. 

Morgan.

He wants Morgan.

But all he gets is Steve’s concerned face, the cold water on his skin and only one arm.

In another universe James Stark-Barnes surges up on the bed, shaking from imaginary cold and then gladly collapses into his husband’s warm arms. He looks into Tony’s concerned eyes and manages a shaky smile.

“They’ll get there, darlin’,” he murmurs in a shaken, rough voice. “I know it. It’s all comin’ together.”

Tony kisses him lightly and smiles back, albeit sadly. “I just hope their Tony will hug the hell out of their James.”

James snickers. “They’ll get there,” he repeats. “You’ll see.”


End file.
